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Letters never sent

I actually miss you. But it's not this "you", it's the one I got to be with on rare occasions. The one that wasn't judgemental about how I kept my house or how much weight I've gained, the one who didn't have something to share about how much he hated it. The one who was loving and MY dad. The one I was proud to call my dad. Listen, I don't care about her, your new fling. I never did. Neither do I care about what happened between you and mom. I just care about how I lost my dad along the way. Don't say you're still that same man because through your child's eyes, you're not.
Listen mom, I am so happy for you. Beyond ecstatic and I'm sorry I don't show you it like I should. I just wish you would take to heart when I say I'd rather see you than take the money for the plane ticket. I miss you mom, more than you know. But I'll never tell you because I know it'll make you worry for some reason. It saddens me that I've seen dad but I haven't seen you in almost a year.
I wish you would stop talking about cars, car products, car problems, things we could do with the car, just stop! I thought this would have stopped after you got the car but it only got worse. I miss you. Baby, I desperately need a you and me vacation but I want you to see it cause I'm tired of always having to tell you what's wrong. Oh, and if you tell me to me to "chill out" when I'm angry or sad again without even working to see what the problem was, trust me, it. Will. Get. Worse.
I don't know where you're going in life and I'm sorry you turned out that way. All I can say is that I miss you, the old you. The one who actually listened to me when I told you I was worried about you. I want you back but I know that won't happen when I'm so far away.
Best friend.
Where'd you go when I needed you the most?

Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: straight

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