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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Grass is always greener

hell yeah k, stand up for yourself... tell that little son of a bitch to kiss your ass... pendejo needs to stop trolling... lol

1. ironically, my first secret is that i think i might have an std... but unlike that idiot, i am getting my self checked... i had beed talking to one of my friends about this and she agreed to go with me next week... i'm afraid of the results but i'm hoping for the best...

2. i had posted here before about how much i like my co worker and about how he would tease me by lifting up his shirt and stuff... well, i keep trying to get over the crush i have on him... but no matter how hard i try, i cant... and he doesn't help at all... he does these little things that make me like him even more... like when i'm sad, he is the first to notice... he asks me whats wrong, and if i don't tell him he insists... or tries to make me smile again... if it wasn't because he is straight, i would think he likes me too... he told his girlfriend all these "great" things about me and somehow she became my friend... every time she sees me she acts like i'm her best friend... she hugs me and has a conversation with me... i actually like her...  which is why i feel so guilty for liking him... i just wish i knew what those great things he said about me are... she wont tell me and neither will he...

3. some of my coworkers told him that i am madly in love with him... i was so worried that he was gonna freak out and stop talking to me or something... but no... he acted like nothing had happened... the thing is, he has never confronted me about what ppl have been telling him about me. he hasn't even asked me about my sexual orientation...

4. this one time, he and i worked together and managed to finish our work four hours early... but instead of asking if one of us could go home early, we went into the cooler where we keep the beer and started drinking... lol...when the cashiers called us to the front to get shopping carts from outside, one of them noticed i was a little tipsy... lol luckily she didn't tell on us...

5. i recently managed to get my shrink to tell my probation officer that i didn't need counseling anymore... truth is i still need it... but the whole time that i had been seeing him i lied to him... almost everything that i told him was a lie... there was one thing that i did tell him that was the truth, and he helped me work on that issue. but that was as far as i was gonna allow him to know me...  i am really surprised that he never caught my lies... i never once contradicted myself... and he would record the conversations... i know he did, especially cuz he had to make monthly reports to my P.O. about my progress..i could have ended the sessions earlier if it wasn't because i made my lies so complicated... i made my life seem like a disaster when in reality is was paradise... and i couldn't just go the next month and say everything was suddenly better... so i had to make it seem like i was taking his advice(which was actually good btw) and that it was making some things better until finally after almost a year everything seems fine...

Gender: male
Sexual Orientation: gay



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