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Not all men

1. Sometimes when I drink I think of how easy it would be to kill myself. I don't want to die and am catholic but it scares me that it even gets to the point where it would be possible in my mind. When I drink I become a slut. We are swingers and it is sooo hot, I think of him sucking girls tits and that makes me so wet. if he ever cheated on me I would cut his penis off. We only play with other couples and together.
2. When I think of who I was just a few years ago it makes me sick. Fat cheap slut waste case. Getting drunk and hoping men would hit on me which they would because I was easy and have huge tits.
3. I am still heavy but have lost 90 pounds. Joined a gym and quit smoking. I admit to a few bulemic episodes which I have been to therapy for. It did not work.
4. I love really goofy things and have a stupid sense of humor guys must think I'm either way awesome or a complete dork.
5. I try to always look nice at work so guys will flirt with me but when they do I get really uncomfortable. Whether they do or they do not men only think with one head and impossible to satisfy.

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