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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Don't worry, it's not contagious...

1. I don't like my Moms at all. She be making me feel like shit ALL the damn time & I'm really tired of that. Sometimes I feel like punching her, but I just can't because at the end of the day she still my Mother (sighs). I'm pretty sure she prefers my Sister & my little Brother.

2. I love this Guy with all my heart, but he ALWAYS changing moods. Like one day we can be all good, but the second day we can stop talking for no reason. I think he's Bipolar or something, but I still love him no matter what. I just hope he changes the way he treats me sometimes, I've told him a billion times but he just ignores me, like he doesn't even care about all he cares about is him ONLY him  :-(

3. Sometimes I just want to kill Myself because I feel like no one loves me, I feel so lonely. I don't even have friends like that or anything, its just me by myself. I wish someone would really listen to me & just care for me a little bit more. I know if I died a few people would care & I'm pretty sure one of them its not gonna be my Moms, cuz she says "it would be much better & easier for everybody if I just disappear" But I really don't have the guts to kill Myself, I'm afraid of Death if not I would of done it a long time ago, trust me.

4. Living in my house is like living in Hell, because no one communicates with one another, it's like living with Strangers. Sometimes I feel sooo uncomfortable. Everyone is in their own room, no one talks or watches TV together & if we do there's this BIG silence & I just hate it. Everything's sooo weird to me, like I know Families are NOT like that. I prefer to live with my Grandmother, but she's really far away, but I would LOVE to live with her. She's so kind & lovely and everyone is happy over there.

5. Like 2 hours ago I had this weird dream. I was telling a Chubby white Girl to eat me out & at first she looked at me wrong, but then she couldn't wait to do it. I still got that shit on my head, I would like to try, but with a Skinny good looking Girl. Even though the Chubby Girl wasn't ugly. I want to know how it feels when a Girl eats another one out, but I don't want to turn Lesbian or Bisexual. I'm really afraid of that, that's why I don't mess with Girls AT ALL. My Mother would kill me, but especially my evil Father.

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