To tell or not to tell

I have been married for 7 months to my husband.  We have been together for 5 years and are very happy.  In the beginning of ooour relationship he cheated on me for someone at his job.  He doesn't work there anymore but he has a new job.  So everytime he gets a job I think he is still going to cheat on me.  I am not too innocent myself he doesn't know that one time when I was drunk I slept with someone else.  I want to tell him so bad but I think our relationship will vanish if I I ever do.

I want to have a 3way badly because he told me that was his fantasy but if I tell him he will think I'm gay.  I only like mmen though...I think...

I have secret crushes on white men and I'm a black woman.

He is a mamas boy and I am jealous of he and his mothers relationship.  I wish sometimes she would leave us alone for a couple of weeks.  Or better yet we could move away...  I have a good relationship with her and I love her but I need some space from her...

I want to cheat on my husband sometimes to get him back from when he cheated on me.  Its been years since he cheated on me though.  I just want to see how it feels to cheat on the person I think is the love of my life....