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It's tough raising those 45 year olds

1.  I am hopelessy in love with my best friend.  I am female, he is male.  I don't know if he feels the same way I do as it is confusing.  I won't tell him my true feelings, for fear our friendship will change.  We are both married.  

2.  I pray to God sometimes, that he harden my heart, so I do not feel the emotional ups and downs of being in love with him.  

3.  I have fallen out of love with my husband, I wish him no harm, but he is very child like at age 45.  It's as if I am raising another child. 

4.  I have no self esteem, even though people tell me I am beautiful, I never believe them.  I use my strong sense of humor to hide my pain.  

5.  I have anxiety attacks almost daily, because of my low self worth and esteem, I would never wish this on anybody.  

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1 comment:

  1. 1. I am sure this is a tough situation to be in. Not knowing what the other person is thinking. Do your spouses not get jealous that you two are best friends? I think that the best way to know how a person is feeling is to ask them. You will hold nothing but regret if you never talk about it.
    2. If you are truely in love with him it has to be painful. Watching him with his wife knowing you are with your husband and would rather be with him. Tough situation.
    3. I know the feeling of falling out of love. Well truthfully I don't know if I was ever in love with my ex husband. I was pregnant and we got married. We never were really compatible. He basically ignored me and the child long enough that I decided to just leave. If you don't know I am even here you won't know I am gone. So I did just that. I wish no harm to him either. He isn't a bad person just not the one for me.
    4. I know exactly what you are talking about with the humor side of things. I am the same way. I will make someone laugh while inside I am so self conscience. When I hear I am beautiful I say thanks but I wonder where they see that at. Oh yeah, my personality. I hate hearing that one. Your personality makes you beautiful. For once I want someone to look at me in a glass box. They can't hear me, they can just see me and say I am beautiful. Then I might believe it. Who knows.
    5. I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with anxiety so bad. Maybe that is something you need to get help with. Everything else will fall into place eventually. Whatever choices you make remember that you need to make you happy. You need to love and respect yourself before you can find someone else that will love and respect you as well.


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