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Sunday, July 4, 2010

Love isn't supposed to hurt

1. My dad still doesn't care about how my mom felt when I told her about my dad having love affairs. I had to tell her it wasn't the right thing to do though. I regret it. I see the pain I brought to her and it kills me. Yeah and my dad is still having affairs.

2. My sister hates me more :) she caught me and her boyfriend sleeping together! Yay! I was happy she did. And when she left her boyfriend said "do you still wanna have sex?" haha.but hey she asked out the love of my life so karma is a bitch right?

3.sometimes I get really disgusted with myself. So I cut. It makes me feel so much better it reliefs my pain. I guess I'm disgusted with myself is because I love making other people who stole something from me suffer. And in the end I'm the one getting hurt.

4.I cry myself to sleep sometimes. It kills me to think about my aunt. She's dead. She died if cancer. I was so close to her and everything. Now my grandma has cancer and it's like my world is shattering. 3 more years that's all she has. She won't be able to see my get married or graduate highschool.

5. The one thing I learned from my sister is That you have to fight to keep all the things you love. And Im fighting but the things that I love hurt me. And at some point I realized that the new things i'll HAVE to love.



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