1. I'm probably gonna end up committing suicide sometime this week.
2. OD'ing on Nyquil, muscle relaxers and red bull is gonna finish off my day.
3. I hate my life. I hate it. 15 years old and I'm gonna be in the obituaries page tomorrow.
4. I don't really think that the fact that I have depression matters to anyone. Friends won't call. Parents are giving me the silent treatment. And my brother is just dishing out rude comments 24/7.
5. K, you have a wonderful website and I applaud you for that. You change peoples lives and you help lift some weight off of peoples shoulders. Congratulations from the bottom of my heart.
Admin/Kelly Here:
My depression was at it's worst when I was your age, and I often felt the way that you are feeling now. Please don't make the mistake that so many young people make and cut your life short just as it's beginning. Things may look impossible now, but you have to remember that when bad things happen in life you have two ways of looking at it -- as a defeating experience, or a growth experience. Every challenge you face makes it easier to face the challenges that take place throughout the rest of your life, and as you grow and experience more and more different things, often painful things, you slowly get to know yourself and understand what you need and what will lead to true and lasting happiness. You're just beginning that journey right now and you'll miss a lot of amazing things and hurt all those who love you the most if you give up. I know it may seem like not even your family cares right now, but they do -- more than you know. Please hang on and get through this rough time -- do what you need to do to make yourself feel strong. Look up depression mitigation resources online, go to the library and check out some of the self-help depression books, like this one, and keep fighting. It does get easier. Please talk to your parents, friends, or anyone else you know and trust -- it may seem like they don't care, but often people don't even notice when someone else, even someone they love very much, is suffering. Don't subject your loved ones to a punishment that will last forever. Please.
Much, Much Love..
Kelly
Discuss this post.
Please don't. Oh please, please don't. My best friend killed himself when he was 15... I am 36 now and I still think of him all the time, wish he'd hung around, wish he could have grown up with me and gotten through the teenage bullshit and into his adult life, where he still might have been depressed but could maybe have gotten better like I did, I wish I could have told him then- and somehow made him believe what I was saying- it WILL get better. I promise, I swear. Just don't give up yet. The teen years SUCK, they're horrible, you're all full of hormones that mess with your brain and your emotions, and I promise, I swear that it will not ALWAYS be like this. Once you get to be an adult, things will be different- YOU will be different. I'm nothing at all like the person i was when I was 15, aren't you just a little curious to see who you turn out to be? Fifteen is just a scratch on the surface, you can't give up because it sucks right now. Wait til your my age- lol...then if life still doesn't seem worth living, at least you've given it a shot. If I would have died when my friend did, I would have missed out on all the best stuff- some sad times too, and a battle with depression, but in the end, well in the middle, I'm not ready to die yet, I am glad I didn't do it. Please consider what I am saying is at least possibly true. You just have to get through it, just hang in there, and it WILL get better. You probably won't believe this either but your parents will feel terrible, probably want to die themselves, your siblings will be hurt, and your friends and even classmates who barely know you will cry at your funeral...but it won't matter to you, because you won't be there to see it or know it. It's not worth it. It's not.
ReplyDeleteAlthough it never seems to make sense at the time, it will all be clear to you one day, if you stick around long enough to understand. And trust me, if you do, it will be beautiful.
ReplyDeleteAs for now, try to find someone who will listen. If your family/friends can't be there for you, try the suicide prevention hotline. They know what you're going through and they want to help you.
Best of Luck,
R