Medication isn't enough

1.  I have kissed two guys since i have been with my husband.  One before we were married and one after.  It meant nothing and i was intoxicated both times.  It would kill him if he knew.
2.  My mental disorders are more serious than anyone knows.  The medication works, but i am still struggling every day.
3.  I love my family but resent them constantly;  my parents for making me who i am, my kids for trapping me in this life, my husband for being sensitive and poor.
4.  I wish i was on my own so i didn't have to watch people suffering from being with me.  I should not allow my problems to affect others.  I wish i was some drunken artist alone with my craziness.
5.  I am an expert liar...and pretender... But only because the truth is so painful.  I am hurting every day.  I hate people who are happy.  I hate That i will never be like them and i think they are probably stupid.

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