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Thursday, July 22, 2010

Shy guy


I'm not sure if I believe in God anymore, the Matrix seems more believable to me then the bible does.

I don't want to be anything when I grow up, nothing interests me.

I think I should be on Antidepressants but I am afraid to talk about it with a doctor.

I hear about all of these girls having sex with anybody and everybody, and how lonely everybody is, yet I can't find one girl who will even talk to me.

I am afraid of girls, I wish just once a girl would ask me out.

I never even kissed a girl, I don't know why I am shy, I am a good looking guy, I have great parents, and I am nice, why don't girls want me?

[Admin here: I love shy people. I have forged wonderful, rewarding friendships with many shy people in my life, including my one and only best friend of 15 years. Often, I actually don't even know that people are shy until they tell me long after we become friends -- probably because I talk way too much and don't mind running the conversation for a while until they get to know me enough to open up. However, with all of them, I actually thought they did not like me at first.

To someone who is not shy, shy people often seem standoffish, or sometimes even rude. Understand that while not everyone is shy, almost everyone is at least a little insecure -- and this comes out most strongly when interacting with prospective romantic partners. Add in the unfortunate societal norm of men being the aggressor in courtship, and a shy guy is in a tough bind indeed. The girls you like think you don't like them and are too insecure to take the risk of asking you out or otherwise making a move because they feel sure of being shot down. Shyness can be overcome, and rejection is not nearly as bad as you think -- usually the worst anyone will say is the equivalent of "No, thanks." You will be doing yourself a big favor if you take the bull by the horns and make a real effort to get past your shyness instead of hoping that someone will rescue you from it. Good luck. -K]

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4 comments:

  1. Very well said Kelly! I must agree us girls always kind of expect the guys to make the move. I must say I love shy guys there is something about them that is so cute yet sexy at the same time!!! So don't worry you will find that girl that will reach into your shell and blow your mind away, you just wait and see!

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  2. Kelly has already warned me once about intolerance against non believers so I won't say you should believe. If you find something that works better for you then go for it. I would have to do some research on the Matrix. Not too familiar with it.
    Eventually you will find something that you are interested in and when you do you will know what your purpose in life is.
    Maybe you should go get that depression thing checked. There's no reason to be afraid to talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. That's what they are there for. There is nothing wrong with taking medication to enhance your mood if you need it.
    Kelly is right about the idea that a shy person may seem to be standoffish or rude in some cases. Maybe just a slight nod of your head as you pass a girl would help you feel better and eventually help you gain courage and talk to a girl.
    There are girls out there that are more dominant than their male partners. Actually there are alot of them. They sometimes seem like they are shy at first but once the relationship progresses they snatch the pants off their man and decide to wear the pants themselves. LOL.
    That girl will come to you. Maybe if you get on an antidepressant things will get better for you. Some antidepressants are used specifically for people with social anxiety. Seems as if you that's what it may be. Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor about feeling down. They are there to help you and it could be very possible that all you need is a little pill of courage to help in every area of your life.

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  3. Maybe try to go out with a girl who is shy too. Usually shy girls, such as myself, feel so much more comfortable with shy guys I'm sure once you start to open up she will too and you'll feel amassing chemistry! I haven't been kissed either yet (super shy too) but I would love to have my first kiss with a guy like you. <3

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  4. so, i'm gonna agree with the whole "talk to your doctor about gettin pills" thing. i did, and honestly, i've been about a thousand times better since i have. i have severe clinical depression and severe anxiety disorder so i can relate... also, i used to be really shy, to the point that i didn't even want to go to school because all the people scared me. what if one of them tried to talk to me? it was awful. i got involved with my school's band and it has helped me a lot. forcing myself to be around others and interact with them seemed to help me. now, i'm about as far from shy as you can get. and i know that this is gonna sound a little weird, but the whole "shy people datin shy people" thing doesn't work that well... cause then you just end up with 2 people who don't talk to anyone other than each other and they're afraid to break up with each other even when it doesn't feel the same anymore and they know they should have split up a long time ago... and i really hope that you figure everything out. you seem like a really nice person that's just bein held back by a little shyness.

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