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Saturday, August 14, 2010

No, that's definitely not friendship


(1) I spent about a year fantasizing about sleeping with my sisters boyfriend. I wore short skirts and tight tops around him with thigh high goth boots. I laid on his bed with him with my shirt off and arching my back out. Eventually, we fucked. I was cross faded, I regret it to this day. Eventually I realized I only wanted him because the medication I was on made me delusional. 

(2) I lie about something everyday. It's like a bad habit, and it doesn't ever feel like lying, it feels like the truth is slipping from my lips. It's usually only later that I realize I was lying. 

(3) I'm terrified of commitment. I'll go into relationships willingly and get so terrified that after a day or two all I want to do is run away. I treated my ex girlfriend like crap and told her if we didn't break up I'd end up cheating on her. 

(4) I spend all my time online because I hate the people in the town I live. Okay.. So I spend time with them now and then but really all I see them good for is borrowing money, fucking and laughing about nothing. And to me, that's not friendship.

(5) I often tell people I care about them when I don't. I worry too much about hurting people and end up getting myself hurt. I am a self abuser, I cut on a regular basis and my intelligence beats me up emotionally at night. I hate everything about myself, hair, eyes, face, figure. In fact, I may a as well be dead. 

Discuss this post.

2 comments:

  1. You're amazing. You shouldn't have to
    Lie and pretend to anyone, because we all love you for who you are. Don't you ever forget that, Hllu <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're such a silly person <3 I love you too Mrla. .-.

    ReplyDelete

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