main navigation

Saturday, August 14, 2010

No, that's definitely not friendship

(1) I spent about a year fantasizing about sleeping with my sisters boyfriend. I wore short skirts and tight tops around him with thigh high goth boots. I laid on his bed with him with my shirt off and arching my back out. Eventually, we fucked. I was cross faded, I regret it to this day. Eventually I realized I only wanted him because the medication I was on made me delusional. 

(2) I lie about something everyday. It's like a bad habit, and it doesn't ever feel like lying, it feels like the truth is slipping from my lips. It's usually only later that I realize I was lying. 

(3) I'm terrified of commitment. I'll go into relationships willingly and get so terrified that after a day or two all I want to do is run away. I treated my ex girlfriend like crap and told her if we didn't break up I'd end up cheating on her. 

(4) I spend all my time online because I hate the people in the town I live. Okay.. So I spend time with them now and then but really all I see them good for is borrowing money, fucking and laughing about nothing. And to me, that's not friendship.

(5) I often tell people I care about them when I don't. I worry too much about hurting people and end up getting myself hurt. I am a self abuser, I cut on a regular basis and my intelligence beats me up emotionally at night. I hate everything about myself, hair, eyes, face, figure. In fact, I may a as well be dead. 

Discuss this post.


  1. You're amazing. You shouldn't have to
    Lie and pretend to anyone, because we all love you for who you are. Don't you ever forget that, Hllu <3

  2. You're such a silly person <3 I love you too Mrla. .-.


Thanks for commenting!

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.