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Sunday, August 15, 2010

Paycheck to paycheck life

* I want to lose weight so bad but I just can't stop eating. Why does food always seem to comfort me? When no one else is around food sure does make me feel better temporarily. 
* Right now I want to go to sleep and sleep forever.  I really don't care if I ever wake up.  Not because I want to die but because I am exhausted. I have slept 4 hours in the past 3 days. My reserved energy is coming to an end.
* Sometimes I just want to take my child and move far far away. If I knew that I could make money and a life for us where ever I chose to go I would do that. I have to always make sure my child has everything he needs. It would just be nice to not have to be around drama from anyone that knows me. Take my child and completely start over in a place where no one knows me. 
* There are times I wonder what it would be like to be skinny.  I wonder if my attitude would be bad if I were skinny.  Not so sure. I think if I could get some of this weight off then I would feel so much better. Just so tired of not being attractive or hearing someone say they love me for my personality. UGH, why can't I just be pretty, sexy or just cute would be nice.
* I could never take anything from someone I know but in the past I have thought about stealing stuff from people that I don't know.  I am not sure why I have even thought about it. Whether it was for the money I would get after pawning stuff or the simple thrill of taking it. Naaahhhh, it's the money.  I am so tired of being broke.  To get money I have thought about stealing from people. NO way I could really do it.  It's not me.  Guess I will just keep living this boring paycheck to paycheck life.  

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