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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Easier said than done

1) Most days I just want to sit and cry and I don't know why.  I am in a relationship I don't want to be in but every time I try to tell him that he pulls me back in somehow. He has a way like that. I am scared of him to a certain degree. I don't know what he's going to do if I tell him I never want to see him again.
2) None of my family knows any of this and I want people to understand why I can't just leave him alone completely. They say just leave him alone. Don't answer the phone, don't do this, don't do that. Well, it's easier said than done. They don't know how bad things are with him. I am scared of what he will do.
3) Me and this guy constantly fight all day every day over petty things. I use to let him say what he wanted to me and his words cut like a knife and make me want to die. So finally I started talking back. It makes things worse sometimes and he gets violent. He has never hit me but he throws things and punches things. I guess it makes him feel better. Who knows. I know it scares the shit out of me.
4) I wish I had one person to talk to about this that would really understand where I am coming from. Yeah to everyone it looks like I just need to break it off with him but they don't see how hard that is. I fear the aftermath.
5) I wish I had more family support. However, my mom and dad both say 'just leave him alone. change your number.'  Well, he knows where I live and he will come there. I just have to find the courage to walk away completely. When and how I don't know.  :(

Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: none chosen


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