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Go forth and multiply (or at least practice)

1. I can't say I love life right now. In fact I really hate it. I'm so torn inside.
2. I graduated high school early and planed on college. Only problem is its been over a year since I've been out and I don't want to do four more + years of school. I'm not motivated in life and know I should be.
3. I had a bf for over a year in a half. First guy, first everything, sex(and I am a wait till marriage type of girl)...the whole 9 yards. But he is a liar and a cheat. I hate him and love him. He has had many chances at doing the right thing. He never has. He says he's willing to change. I've heard all of it before from him, except hes actually trying and has come up with a better plan. I just don't want to throw my self out there again. I feel like he'll just break my heat again. I'm lost on what to do.
4. I want to live life according to God, but I love sex and the pleasure sexual things bring. Sex makes me feel alive and like living.
5. I'm overwhelmed in life and depressed. But I never admit it to anyone. I don't want to see a shrink or counseler cause I fear they'll tell me I'm not stable and want to put me in a mental institute.

Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: straight

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