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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

If you don't want it, it's molestation

1. I used to let the guys I was having sex with hit me. One in particular took great pleasure in punching me hard in the face. It scared me at first and my body would recoil and try to defend, but after a while I started enjoying the sensations and wanted to be hit more and harder.

2. There were several months where I had been having medical issues and pain and I kept getting prescribed Vicodin. I was on the verge of being addicted to it. I went to work almost every day strung out on pills, and if they ever knew that I would have been so fired. I hated that I needed pills to be comfortable but at the same time I loved the way I felt on them. I haven't taken them since last July and plan to keep it that way

3. One time when my prescription for vicodin ran out and I wanted more I stole some from a bottle I found in the bathroom when I was babysitting (the mom had just had surgery). The very next day I was using the bathroom at a good friend's house party, and I noticed a bottle of vicodin that he had from a dental procedure. I stole some of those too. I have never ever told anybody this and it makes me feel like a dirty drug addict.

4. (Oh fuck, this one still makes me cringe) One time, I had sex with this guy and let him beat me in exchange for drugs.

5. When I was 11, I was at a friends house. She was 14 years old. We were in her bedroom, laying on her bed and talking. She told me that she thought she was a lesbian and wanted to do something with a girl to see if she liked it. She then stuck her hand in my pants and started touching me. I didn't want her to, her hands were rough and it was painful. I was frozen I didn't know what to say or do. after a while she stopped and asked me to do the same to her. I said I didn't want to and left. I completely forgot this ever happened and a couple years ago the memory popped back into my head. It messed me up a little bit I think.
Bonus: I don't know if #5 is considered a molestation. honestly it would be a lot less confusing for me had that happened to me by a man instead of a girl.

Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: straight



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