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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Maybe he likes you too much

1. Gosh my self-esteem is low. I strive on compliments from others and when they give one that is kind of decent, I can't accept it. For example: "You're beautiful" me- "oh my gosh I look so disgusting". Why can't I just take the damn compliment. They make me feel amazing, but it's like I can never tell them that or I'd look conceited.

2. I can't accept the fact that I'm not a virgin anymore. I've had sex once,kind of,and I tell people all the time that I'm still a virgin. It's mostly just constant lies to myself and others.

3. This guy I've been having a crush on since like the 7th grade just became like best friends with me. There's no way he doesn't know that i'm pretty much in love with him because almost everytime we hang out he tells me we're only friends. It bothers me so much. What's so wrong with me that he can't like me more than that. Maybe i'm too chubby. That's probably it.

4. My other best friend who's a guy is a black kid. We talk almost everyday and we've messed around a couple of times, well a lot of times but never actually done it. I want to so bad but once when I brought it up he shut it down and crushed my feelings. We're not dating mostly because we can't and i'd probably be shunned from my whole family. When he talks about other girls he likes or has done things with, it makes me so extremely jealous. I never tell him but boy do i want to.

5. I have a lighter burn on my arm from getting so pissed off after a fight with my mom that I burnt myself. I told mostly everyone that my older sister did it. She's evil, they believed it. I had to eventually tell my best friend and mom that it wasn't my sister it was me who was just bored and wanted to see something. They believed that too. I just didn't want them to think I was some freaky emo chick who like burning themselves. Oh well.

P.s.- you're the bomb.com, K.

Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: straight



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