In is lame anyway

First off, please comment for help or any advice..etc.
1.some days I wake up & I feel good bc I look skinny..but its like the second I eat sumthn wen I look in the mirror again it kooks like I hav a freakin baby bump! I always feel so fat& I am...well I think.

2. I hav thot about starving myself..but nvr did it fully.

3. I hav such bad jealousy issues tht I'm evn jealous of my family mmbrs sumtimes.

4. I'm always so mad at my mom 4not buying me the "in" clothes bc I am constantly wearing same sweatshirts pants shits etc. N nun r cute n "in". But I'm selfish bc ik we dnt hav the money 4 it.

5. I treat my moms bf like shit all the time bc I dnt wnt to get close to him. He's nice to me..normalyy..and will soon b step dad. And its already been 3yrs.

Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: straight

[If you can tell a difference as soon as you eat something, you're probably very thin. The desire to be unnaturally thin is a modern construct that is unhealthy and primarily driven by corporations that sell diet-oriented products. There will always be someone you can compare yourself to and feel fat, but that is only because every human body is so unique that comparisons are useless. Stop beating yourself up.  

Jealousy is the only vice which gives no pleasure.

It sucks to be judged by other kids due to factors you can't control, but that is not your mom's fault for being poor. It's the kids' fault for being judgmental. Rise above it and if you can't, get a part time job when/if you're old enough and use the money to buy yourself "in" clothes. My family was poor when I was growing up, and that's what I did - I was better dressed, but it never made me any more popular. Clothes are just wrappers and labels we put on ourselves, it's what is inside you and what you do with it that really matters. You'll appreciate having nice things more when you earn them for yourself than your better-off classmates will ever be able to. 

As far as your soon to be step dad, sounds like you already know what to do about that -- try to get along with him and if you still feel the need to be mean to him, try to figure out why and whether it has anything at all to do with him. If it doesn't -- don't take it out on him.

Much Love,

K]

Discuss this post.