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Thursday, January 6, 2011

There is more to high school than sex

1. I hate everyone sometimes even my closest friends. I can find something I hate about absoultly anyone. I hate that Im so negative sometimes but I cant help it. I even catch my self saying mean things to people for no reason.

2.I haven't dated the guy Im with right now for very long but I know I am head over heels in love with him I will never tell anyone not even him.(unless he tells me)

3.Im still a virgin and Im petrified to have sex. I want to. Dont get me wrong but Im so afraid. Ive talked me self out of it sometimes. Ive heard so many horror storys from my friends.Theres so much pressure in my high school to be "sexually active". All my life I never dated anyone thats stayed with me longer than 3 weeks because I wont have sex with them. A few guys have even asked me if I was a virgin and stopped talking to me right then and there. It makes me feel so horrible and unwanted walking around thinking that all guys want me for is sex all the time.

4.I like my boyfriend so much because he barely gives me the time of day. He completly ingores me when were around our friends. He thinks it bothers me but I love it the less attention pays to me the more i like him. I mean of course I like it when he gives me attention too. He is perfect for me Im not that physical in relationships as far as basics go like kissing and hold hands and stuff and neither is he. It makes me feel like he likes me for me and not just to have sex with me.

5.I secretly hate my little brother Im so jealous of him. I feel like my parents love him more then they love me. When I was little I wanted a sibbling so bad but when he came I wanted him to go away. I hated him I dont as much as i used to because im rarely every home. Its his house not mine. When I was younger I was so mean to him I never hurt him but I was just horrible to him he hates me now and I feel bad sometimes. But I was only mean to him as a way to take out my anger because my father was emotionally abusive to me and still is. He is the only person I get jealous of. My boyfriend could hang out with all girls and I wouldnt care.

Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: straight



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