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Die for just one day

1; the other night, I was sleeping @ a goood friends house, he's attractive and tried getting with me. I have a boyfriend, but found it so hard to stop him..
2; I think my boyfriend is perfect, he's the sweetest most caring guy, and I feel is tho ill never be good enought for him despite what he says. But I honestly, feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. I blame my dad.
3; I kinda wish, my mom would cheat on my dad and leave him. My brothers and sisters don't agree, so it makes me feel like the fucked up one.
4; I know I'm the fucked up one, me and my family don't agree on anything. On gays marriage, or anything like that. People always says "cause I'm strong, and indepent, and opinionated." But I feel like a fuckup.
5; I remember a while back, I told my mom I was depressed (again, last year I was so depressed. I had thoughts of suside everyday, noone noticed) but she was too busy playing a game on the wii, and drinking her beer to care. It still haunts me. The fact, I know she loves me. Just not enough..

Bonus; I wanna die for a day just too see who'd acutally care... my guess? Noone..

Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: straight

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