I wonder what that feels like

My wife doesn't really satisfy me sexually.  Emotionally, she couldn't be better, but I went from having a girl that would cook me lunch, and suck my dick while I ate, and let me bring girls home, and suggested girls to me, etc.....to regular old sex 2 or 3 times a month.  I am a VERY needy and freaky guy when it comes to sex, and she really doesn't try, and even though I've explained this to her, nothing changes.  I had some side pussy for pretty much our whole relationship, which made it much more bareable and my wife has (unsuccesfuly) tried threesomes, but now my side piece is gone, and my wife refuses to step her game up, and I am ready to cheat and not give a fuck about keeping it secret.

Pretty much EVERYTIME I fuck my wife, I think of someone else.  All kind of girls, but one girl in particular.  I've wanted to fuck her for about 8 years, but can't, for various reasons.

When I was little, two of my male cousins molested me for almost a whole summer.  No penetration or oral, but they liked to hump on me.  I was smaller and younger, and had enough sense to know it was wrong, but not enough sense to make them stop.  It doesn't kill me inside or anything, but it happened about 30 years ago, and it still makes me cringe in shame whenever it pops in my head.

I want to live in a true menage trois.  Not just sexually, but in the literal sense of the word.  Always have, and probably always will.  If me and my wife ever break up, I'll never settle for just one woman again.  

I want to try prostate stimulation, but I'm scared to bring it up, and I'm scared that once I try it, I'd feel gay.  Hah!


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